"It’s not about freedom. It’s about keeping everyone safe."

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 1

Virtue Signal Strength: 9

Resistance to Memes: 7

Reality Distortion Field: 8

Power: Mandate Echo — All players must repeat the last government slogan or lose a turn

Weakness: Cannot compute contradiction

Appearance: Lanyard, reusable mask, eyes glazed with televised trust

"I just trust my trauma-informed breath cycle."

Conformity: 7

Self-Awareness: 3

Virtue Signal Strength: 10

Resistance to Memes: 6

Reality Distortion Field: 5

Power: Emotional Deflection — Cancels any logical argument by invoking “bad vibes”

Weakness: Actual Feeling

Appearance: Earth-tone yoga wrap, copy of The Body Keeps the Score, decorative wound

"If it didn’t happen on TikTok, did it even happen?"

Conformity: 9

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 5

Resistance to Memes: 3

Reality Distortion Field: 10

Power: Chrono Slide — Can scroll back time to erase personal accountability

Weakness: Real-Time Eye Contact

Appearance: Finger twitching, ring light glare, face mid-filter

"Trust the science. Even when it changes."

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 0

Virtue Signal Strength: 8

Resistance to Memes: 10

Reality Distortion Field: 9

Power: Fact Bomb — Shuts down debate by quoting the Guardian + Wikipedia in the same breath

Weakness: Complex Questions

Appearance: Glasses with fogged lenses, tote bag with atom symbol, smugness baked in

"Excuse me, that’s problematic."

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 1

Virtue Signal Strength: 11

Resistance to Memes: 8

Reality Distortion Field: 9

Power: Cancel Cascade — Can eliminate three opponents by summoning a Tweet from 2011

Weakness: Genuine humour.

Appearance: Dyed fringe, pronoun pin armour, permanent scowl of moral superiority

"I’m just doing what’s expected. You’d do the same in my position."

Conformity: 9

Self-Awareness: 3

Virtue Signal Strength: 6

Resistance to Memes: 5

Reality Distortion Field: 6

Power: Ladder Kick — Gains one point of power every time an ally is fired

Weakness: Cannot operate without hierarchy

Appearance: Razor smile, LinkedIn pulse articles, ambition perfume

"As someone who read a thread about this once..."

Conformity: 6

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 4

Resistance to Memes: 4

Reality Distortion Field: 8

Power: Fact Overload — Can smother any truth in ten adjacent Google search results

Weakness: Real-life Experience

Appearance: Dual-monitor shrine, tabs open since 2019, keyboard tanlines

"Sorry if what I said offended anyone..."

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 1

Virtue Signal Strength: 10

Resistance to Memes: 6

Reality Distortion Field: 7

Power: Shame Loop — Forces all players to rephrase a statement until it’s meaningless

Weakness: Authentic self-expression

Appearance: Nervous eyes, pre-apologised eyebrows, HR parasite larvae under the skin

"We’ve escalated your concern to the appropriate team."

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 4

Virtue Signal Strength: 5

Resistance to Memes: 9

Reality Distortion Field: 8

Power: Email Loop — Redirects any real question into a black hole of meetings

Weakness: Direct Language

Appearance: Lanyard rosary, blazer of protection, Outlook sigil

"That’s not my truth. That’s a micro-aggression."

Conformity: 8

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 10

Resistance to Memes: 7

Reality Distortion Field: 10

Power: Feeling Filter — Translates all input into offence, regardless of content

Weakness: Sincerity

Appearance: Dead eyes, branded therapy vocabulary, heart replaced by a feedback form

"Whatever the government says, I believe the opposite. Unless it’s aliens."

Conformity: 3

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 4

Resistance to Memes: 5

Reality Distortion Field: 9

Power: Contrarian Loop — Automatically contradicts all previous players

Weakness: Coherence

Appearance: Black hoodie, YouTube tabs, smug paranoia

"We’re a proudly inclusive organisation. Unless you think differently."

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 0

Virtue Signal Strength: 12

Resistance to Memes: 10

Reality Distortion Field: 9

Power: Language Police — May rename any other card and reduce its power to 1

Weakness: Unmoderated Speech

Appearance: HR talisman necklace, rainbow ID badge, glossary of oppression

"Experts say you should be afraid. Let’s go to Deborah with the weather."

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: -1

Virtue Signal Strength: 6

Resistance to Memes: 9

Reality Distortion Field: 10

Power: Broadcast Blindness — Forces all players to forget what happened last round

Weakness: Signal Without Script

Appearance: Hair sprayed by fear, autocue eyes, Channel 4 smile

"I’m not saying they should be forced… but they *should* be forced."

Conformity: 8

Self-Awareness: 1

Virtue Signal Strength: 7

Resistance to Memes: 5

Reality Distortion Field: 7

Power: Safety Doctrine — Can lock down the board “for public good”

Weakness: History

Appearance: Lanyard crusader with soft eyes and clipboard rage

"If you’re broke, it means you’re not vibrating high enough."

Conformity: 6

Self-Awareness: 3

Virtue Signal Strength: 9

Resistance to Memes: 4

Reality Distortion Field: 8

Power: Manifestation Blast — Can steal stats from another player by repeating the word “abundance.”

Weakness: Discernment

Appearance: LED teeth, pastel trauma, copy of “You Are the Medicine (Now Pay)”

“Let’s not argue. I just think it’s interesting that you’d say that.”

Conformity: 9

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 7

Resistance to Memes: 6

Reality Distortion Field: 5

Power: Tone Trap — Reframes all challenges as “bad vibes” and claims moral high ground

Weakness: Direct confrontation

Appearance: Tight smile, guilt bouquet, email footer with “Warmly.”

“You don’t care about people if you won’t agree with me.”

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 1

Virtue Signal Strength: 11

Resistance to Memes: 7

Reality Distortion Field: 9

Power: Emotional Blackmail — May steal a stat from any “privileged” card

Weakness: Independent thinking

Appearance: Faux-teary TikTok confessional + professional victim résumé

“I’m anti-establishment. That’s why I use branded resistance hashtags.”

Conformity: 8

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 10

Resistance to Memes: 8

Reality Distortion Field: 10

Power: Hashtag Hijack — Can impersonate a movement for clout

Weakness: Authentic opposition

Appearance: Designer anarchy, funded fury, selfie-stick at the protest

“We now invite the board to centre their chakras and approve the ESG resolution.”

Conformity: 7

Self-Awareness: 4

Virtue Signal Strength: 9

Resistance to Memes: 5

Reality Distortion Field: 6

Power: Ritual Blur — Can disguise corporate policy as sacred wellness

Weakness: Field presence.

Appearance: Hennaed hands signing NDAs, breathwork before layoffs

“Our independent team of experts has verified that reality is offensive.”

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 0

Virtue Signal Strength: 8

Resistance to Memes: 10

Reality Distortion Field: 11

Power: Reality Override — Can censor one opponent for violating “context.”

Weakness: Spontaneity

Appearance: Avatarless bio, algorithmic collar, monocle of bias

“I’ve got a PhD in Compliance from Yale, thank you very much.”

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 3

Virtue Signal Strength: 6

Resistance to Memes: 8

Reality Distortion Field: 7

Power: Appeal to Authority — May cancel any lower-educated card for “misinformation.”

Weakness: Common sense

Appearance: Lanyard tan, opinion paywalled by LinkedIn articles

“If everyone isn’t welcome, then no one is allowed joy.”

Conformity: 11

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 11

Resistance to Memes: 7

Reality Distortion Field: 9

Power: Cultural Confiscation — Can remove any joy-based card from play for “lack of inclusivity.”

Weakness: Laughter

Appearance: Rainbow clipboard, stern eyes, utopia by HR policy

“If it’s not peer-reviewed by Pharma, it’s a conspiracy.”

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 1

Virtue Signal Strength: 7

Resistance to Memes: 10

Reality Distortion Field: 10

Power: Lab Coat Authority — Immune to any card that references nature, spirit, or history

Weakness: Unapproved questions

Appearance: Branded mask, triple jabbed, neurotic glow of trust

“That’s not funny. People died.”

Conformity: 9

Self-Awareness: 1

Virtue Signal Strength: 8

Resistance to Memes: 9

Reality Distortion Field: 6

Power: Humour Suppression Field — Nullifies all jokes in a 3-card radius

Weakness: Irony

Appearance: Report button fingers, trauma badge lanyard, sits closest to the moderator

“The system isn’t biased, you just don’t know how to behave.”

Conformity: 12

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 6

Resistance to Memes: 10

Reality Distortion Field: 9

Power: Behavioural Correction Loop — Can auto-flag and downgrade any opponent playing “too freely.”

Weakness: Free speech outside code

Appearance: Techno-bland, polite tone, writes policy for platforms they pretend not to control

“My grandfather fought in the war, so I know what oppression looks like.”

Conformity: 8

Self-Awareness: 4

Virtue Signal Strength: 6

Resistance to Memes: 5

Reality Distortion Field: 6

Power: Historical Projection — Projects ancestral struggle into irrelevant present-day arguments.

Weakness: Present moment

Appearance: Medals on the mantle, outrage in the echo chamber

It’s not me, it’s just the rules.”

Conformity: 11

Self-Awareness: 1

Virtue Signal Strength: 4

Resistance to Memes: 10

Reality Distortion Field: 7

Power: Bureaucratic Immunity — Immune to logic, ethics, and exceptions if they aren’t printed on a laminated form

Weakness: Spontaneity

Appearance: Clipboard soul, policy print-out heart

“I was into it before it went viral. Now I’m a thought leader.”

Conformity: 9

Self-Awareness: 3

Virtue Signal Strength: 9

Resistance to Memes: 6

Reality Distortion Field: 8

Power: Trend Hijack — Gains +2 in all categories if the idea has already been approved by mainstream influencers.

Weakness: Originality

Appearance: nfluencer ego with follower software

“I just fix the system, I don’t question why it exists.”

Conformity: 7

Self-Awareness: 5

Virtue Signal Strength: 3

Resistance to Memes: 5

Reality Distortion Field: 4

Power: Compliance Loop — Can restore any broken system as long as the manual still exists

Weakness: Vision

Appearance: Greyscale wardrobe, backlit by the machine

“Caring means controlling. Let me show you how much I love you by regulating you.”

Conformity: 10

Self-Awareness: 2

Virtue Signal Strength: 12

Resistance to Memes: 8

Reality Distortion Field: 11

Power: Authoritarian Empathy — May override any opponent’s will if it’s “for their own good.”

Weakness: Boundaries

Appearance: Cardigan of compliance, clipboard of care

“We don’t care what you think — as long as you all look different while agreeing.”

Conformity: 12

Self-Awareness: 0

Virtue Signal Strength: 13

Resistance to Memes: 10

Reality Distortion Field: 12

Power: Optical Unity — Can convert any group of unique beings into a single slogan with photo diversity

Weakness: Actual diversity of thought

Appearance: UN brochure design, rainbow aura, facial expression downloaded from DEI database

“Thoughtcrime detected. Cognitive dissonance uploaded. Please return to narrative.”

Conformity: 14

Self-Awareness: -1

Virtue Signal Strength: 6

Resistance to Memes: 13

Reality Distortion Field: 14

Power: Pre-Emptive Correction — Can anticipate and censor unfinished thoughts

Weakness: Free association

Appearance: Blank stare, retinal scanner breath, government-issued intuition

“We must destroy freedom to save humanity.”

Conformity: 15

Self-Awareness: 0

Virtue Signal Strength: 15

Resistance to Memes: 15

Reality Distortion Field: 15

Power: Utopian Annihilation — If this card is played with any government or AI card, it triggers a Global Compliance Field

Weakness: Inner fire

Appearance: Calm, reasonable, data-backed — the final mask of madness